Another beginning…

In the dawn of a new year, there is always a buzz about resolutions, intentions, and all the ways in which this year will be like no other before:  the weight we will lose, the wonderful person we will be, the yoga classes we will attend, the meditation we will do, the glowing patient presence we will offer to our families.  And then, come February, these resolutions have been tossed aside for the habits that are much stronger than the intentions that we set.

Five years ago, I traded this resolution setting from long unattainable lists to one single word.   Each year, I choose one word as a theme.  This theme is what I will root myself to for the year, the lens I will look at every situation with, the quality I will strive to be in relationship with, the conversation I will be having with my higher self for the year.  These themes are not forgotten in February, March or even at the end of the year.  They are a constant, a north star guiding me through each month, and each challenge. I can still remember each word of the last five years:

I started with Faith, then Loss, Grace, Service, and last year:  Sanity.

Of course these words are sneaky.  You could choose a word like Faith and expect a year of miracles, of quiet prayerful moments, walking serenely through the year with God’s hand in yours.  NO WAY.  Choose that word and immediately you are given opportunities to have faith.  Very different.   The year I chose faith I went through a terrible break-up, two moves in six months, and a change of business.  And conversely the year I chose the word Loss, (developing and deepening my relationship to and capacity for loss), was the year I traveled to India, fell deeply in love, got engaged to my husband, and enjoyed business success.  Choosing the word Sanity last year took me to the edges of my own sanity and had me question my relationship with depression and self-care.

This year’s word came as they often do, somewhere in December, upon reflection of my year before, and what was the most important intervention in my habits at the moment.  To go back to 2002 for a moment, I took a course with an amazing man, Breck Costin, called the Freedom Course. At the end of the course, you are given a mission. Mine was “to be satisfied with what I get.”  I hated it.  I wanted everyone else’s mission.  I even took a course again in 2008 and asked for a new mission.  I was given the same mission.

Satisfaction.

This is my word for 2011.  It goes beyond acceptance for me.  To actually be satisfied with what is there in front of me.  Whether it is with my child, who might be tantrum-ing in my arms, my business, which could be causing stress, my sleep (or lack thereof), or just my life as it is right now.  From tiny things like the dinner in front of me, to bigger things like the choices I have made in my life.  Satisfaction. With my life, my marriage, my path, my lessons, my self.

I know this will bring up it’s opposite, as I have seen before, and I look forward to the journey.

For now, I am going to go to bed.  Satisfied with this as my first post of 2011.

Wishing you all inspiration, clarity and satisfaction.

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